Love on Ottomatic

Greetings My Friends and Family!

 

Let me start by thanking all of you that have been reaching out over the past few weeks with notes, calls, emails and texts; all wishing me well and reminding of the Army of LOVE that I am surrounded by…it has given me immeasurable strength and determination to fight this fight as fully as I can…it also reassures me that this is just another chapter in a Long and Vibrant Life!  I wish I had the time and energy to respond to everyone, but lately it’s been impossible, but please keep’em coming, it helps! Give Thanks…

 

My last posting was over a month ago, the day of my “Post Round One CT Scan”…and I promised to share results when they were available; we did well.  The overall tumor burden was reduced approximately 15% and there was no visible advancement of the disease…I was thankful for that, but honestly had expected more.  As I’ve said here many times; I thought chemo would be a lot worse than it has been so far, but you gotta’ realize; it’s still pretty brutal and a lot to endure on a daily basis!  So, I guess I was hoping for more progress…I mean come on, why not 50%?  Regardless;  I do remain thankful that we are moving forward.

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Spontaneous Remission DAY!!

 

Well folks, we are through the fourth round of Chemo and I’m still feeling GREAT…Give thanks!  As with the last few rounds I decided to walk to and from the infusion center (6 miles; round trip!) seriously folks; I think this has had a lot to do with my success so far!  I also firmly believe that in addition to the walking, my diet and herbal supplement protocol have been keeping me going and feeling as good as I do.  Lastly, it’s all YOUR FAULT…yes, YOU!  All of you in fact; I’m receiving so much loving support from friends, family and everyone else around me that I’m able to JUST focus on healing and feeling better every day.  Thank You!  Last week my friend Jen was out of town learning about a new healing technology that sounds very interesting…but that made room for a special treat; last Thursday I received an amazing massage from my partner Indra, then we enjoyed a great restorative Yoga class at the Yoga Tree together…Give Thanks!

 

So; today is my third CT/PET Scan…Yes, I get to go back into the big donut!  If you read the previous postings about the scans you’ll know that it’s a pretty simple/straight forward procedure.  As always, information is power and I’m eager to learn how well the chemo and other healing practices I’m employing are working!  The scan will be compared to the last pre-Chemo scan and they will be able to determine the current state of the disease in my body…I get the results next week and will be sure to let you all know how we did.

 

I do have one favor to ask: Please take a moment today to “Give Thanks” for all the amazing gifts we are given in this life and the beauty that surrounds us…and then think SPONTANEOUS REMISSION!!!  Yep, if we all focus our collective energy and intention before and during todays scan, this whole thing could be behind us by next week…now that would be SWEET!  Huh?

 

Have a great day, much Love and Gratitude to every one of YOU!

 

Give thanks,

Ops~

Hello my Friends; yes it’s been a while…but I’ve been pretty busy!  As you know, my full time job these days is managing my journey back to complete health and real healing.  Part of that process lately has been the chemotherapy.  I’m now through three rounds and feel like I’m Thriving rather than Surviving this process so far.  Fortunately it hasn’t disrupted the rhythm of normal life completely and I’m feeling great and have remained super active!  Give thanks!

 

As you know from Lee’s last post we all went up to Tahoe the week after my first infusion.  It was a great trip and yes, a LOT of fun to go Snow Boarding for a day.  Like I said, my energy has remained relatively high and I’m finding the more active I am the better I feel.

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Chemo Week One…

 

I started chemo last Tuesday, 1/22; although the last week hasn’t been ‘easy’…it’s been a lot less traumatic that expected!  Actually, the expectation and the ‘not knowing’ were the worst parts in the end!  Heading into chemo, I was carrying a lot of expectation about its possible effects on me and what the experience would be like, after all, it’s pretty scary stuff and most of what I’ve heard about it in my life has not been very positive.  That said; I really tried to head into last week with an open mind and open heart, knowing that whatever it was like I’d make it through it with the Love and Support from all of my Friends and Family…that much was sure.  As it has been at every step of this journey…Give thanks!

 

So, Tuesday morning we went over to the UCSF Infusion Center for my first dose of FOLFOX.  As I mentioned in my last post, it’s delivered via an IV for about 4 straight hours and then via a small mobile IV pump for another 48 hours.  My ‘chemo nurse’ was great; his name is Bruce, he was equal parts Cason Kressley and Lyle Lovett!  But all heart, and he really made the day as easy as possible.  The ‘Infusion Center’ is a nice enough place considering everyone there has cancer and is receiving chemo, or there to support them.  Indra and I were joined by my sister Elana, the Nurse, who came up from San Diego again to make sure the first round of chemo was manageable for us both…Give Thanks!

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Start @ the Beginning~

 

The problem with chemo is…it’s TOXIC!  Unfortunately, it is also one of the only proven cures for cancer.  From the beginning I’ve had some reservations about just signing up for chemo and hoping for the best.  The thing that I was struggling with the most is the Systemic, Non-Specific, Toxic nature of the therapy.  I know the term ‘chemotherapy’ is a loaded word; and some people, me included, have an immediate negative reaction to it.  Well, here’s what I’ve come to find out that has helped me understand it and its role in my treatment a lot more clearly. 

 

The way chemotherapy works is pretty simple; Its typically a mixture of several drugs called cytotoxins, or “cell-killer”, chemicals delivered through an IV in high doses.  The good news is that these cytotoxic agents are really good at killing the quickest dividing cells in the body, and since cancer cells divide much more rapidly than healthy cells, it gets them first.  On the down side; they also kill the quickly dividing healthy cells in your body, like hair follicles and cells in your digestive system.  That’s where the hair loss, nausea and other nasty side effects come in!  So, wouldn’t it be great to have some idea of exactly which cell-killing drugs have the best chance of killing the tumors in my body?  It does to me too…unfortunately; the way the “Standard of Care” is developed in the US health system this is not a priority among most oncologists.  In order to develop a standard chemo protocol for a class of disease, like ‘colon cancer’ for example, it makes most sense to the medical establishment and drug manufacturers to develop broad protocols that are most likely to help most of the people most of the time.  In the case of colon cancer, the protocol is called FOLFOX, sounds cute, but it’s not! It’s a mixture of three cancer drugs that is the current “Standard of Care” for stage IV colon cancer. However before I could commit to FOLFOX or any other chemo protocol I really needed to know if it would work, for ME.  Until very recently there was no way to know if the drugs in a chemo protocol would work on YOUR tumors until you tried it for a few months…can you imagine enduring months of cytotoxins injections and their side effects only to find out that your tumors were ‘resistant’ to the drugs chosen?  Yeah; bummer dood! 

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Are we there yet? 

After two straight weeks on the road, the last thing on my mind was another cancer road trip.  But, I was still lacking complete answers and I had yet to meet anyone that could really help me integrate all of this information into one cohesive ‘Protocol’ that made sense and just plain felt right.  Seriously; I was starting to feel like a proper Cancer-Carnie …taking my act from town to town!  Then, I read an excerpt from Kris Carr’s book Crazy Sexy Cancer, in it she quotes a 2003 National Cancer Institute study that states “Patients who traveled 15 or more miles for their care had one-third the risk of death of those living closer. Moreover, for every 10 miles that a patient traveled for care, the risk of death decreased by 3.2%”. Thanks Audrey!  So; what does all that mean?  A couple things; first that not all ‘care’ is equal, so getting out there and finding the best pays off eventually…and secondly that people who are proactive and keep searching until they find what sounds and feels right to them have a much better chance of KICKING cancer’s ASS!  So; try to picture my little cancer cells as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and all of us as Bruce Lee in their classic battle from the movie ”Game of Death”…he is a MONSTER opponent, but our Kung Fu is fierce and we have Love and LIGHT on our side.  With enough will, and all of you, there is always a way! 

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The NYC~

• It’s always great to be in New York City during the late fall; absolutely beautiful time of year there…the leafs have turned colors and there is a refreshing chill in the air.  I love staying in Dex’s neighborhood; up around 147^th & Broadway, upper Harlem…even the Christmas tree salesmen & department store Santa’s call you “Papi” with a thick Puerto Rican accent!  Thanks for the use of your flat Dex!
• MSKCC & the “Standard of Care”: Well, Memorial Sloan-Kettering might be the #1 GI Oncology Unit in the US, but is certainly wasn’t a good fit for me.  I was joined on this visit by two of the most positive people I know; Sue Igoe, she’s been living in NYC for the past 8 years and she’s still 100% California Girl & my friend Jeff Stein from Jackson Hole. So; I was pretty optimistic heading in!  I had some lovely support and was on my way to meet the best minds in American Oncology.  Unfortunately, Dr. Shah was a total downer!  His views of cancer care and patient treatment were very conservative and he employed an almost dogmatic & religious belief in “the science” and “the standard of care”.  I felt like he was in the business of developing treatment protocols that benefit most of the people, most of the time…but had completely lost his focus on the individual!  Yeah; like, um…ME!  As it turns out; Sloan Kettering, did more to energize my desire to find or create my own path to complete healing than anything else. 

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Long Strange Trip…

 

Hello everyone; as Lee said below, we’re long overdue for an update here…and I have a LOT to share.  It’s been weeks since my last posting and since then I’ve traveled over 9,000 miles in search of some real answers to my serious questions.  It’s really unbelievable how much conflicting information is available and how many differing opinions there are from “The Experts” on the right course of action.  I’m relieved to say that this journey was in the end very productive and I now feel the most hopeful and clear about my direction on this journey to complete healing…Give Thanks!

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~Merry Christmas 2007~ 

Merry Christmas everyone, Give Thanks!  It’s so Beautiful here in San Francisco today that it hardly seems like Christmas.  This is just a very brief note to say THANK YOU to everyone out there continually sending us Support, Love and Encouragement!  It’s much appreciated and it’s making a HUGE difference for me and absolutely accelerating my healing process.  Since Thanksgiving I’ve traveled over 9,000 miles tracking down some much needed answers…along the way we had to kiss a couple frogs; but in the end we’ve found what’s beginning to feel like a complete and authentic path to my full recovery!  Give Thanks!  I’ve been working on a posting to bring everyone up to speed on what’s been happening, which has been a LOT, expect to see it in the next couple days. 

 

Today, I just want to send all of My Love to You!  My Friends, My Family, My Community!  I’ve learned SO much in the past three months; but most significantly I’ve learned the true meaning of Love and Community.  When my Pain and this Diagnosis put each and every one of you into ACTION, you showed me the power of Community in motion, Give Thanks!  Your deeds, words and actions are giving me LIFE and I thank you for that, every one of you.  My hope for YOU today is that you are around the people that you Love the most and that you take a moment to pause and Give Thanks for the magic and beauty of Life that surrounds us.

 

Much Love and Happy Holidays!

Ops~